What About the Ladies?

Are we more accepting of female students who experiment with sexuality than we are of their male counterparts?  Lately, more and more female students have been willing to “open up” about their sexual struggles, but we may be surprised as to what lies behind their issues of sexuality.

Over the past several years, it has become more acceptable for men to openly talk about their struggles with porn and masturbation.   In many circles it is common knowledge, or even assumed, that men have grappled with porn at some level (90% of 8-16 year old boys have viewed porn online – mostly while doing homework).

On my own campus we have held “Porn and Pancake” breakfasts (XXXChurch.com) and “[Root] Beer and Sex Nights” to deal with and help create accountability for male students who struggle with these issues.  We have found that almost every male student admits to struggling with porn in some form.

But what about the female students? Have we ignored them?  Is their struggle the same or different?

Scientists at the frontier of research have been dealing with the eternal question of what women find erotic.  Unlike men who are stimulated mainly by female porn, the studies are showing that for females, it is not simply pictures or videos of naked men.

“For heterosexual women,” says researcher Meredith Chivers, in a new documentary about bisexuality called “Bi the Way,” “looking at a naked man walking on the beach is about as exciting as looking at landscapes.”

Some may say this doesn’t matter, but there is more to Chivers’ study.  Interestingly, the heterosexual women that Chivers researched were aroused by videos of masturbation and graphic sex, but more still by simple videos of couples making love. Women with women, men with men, men with women: it did not seem to matter much to her female subjects.   We may laugh away talks of television hit shows like Grey’s Anatomy (which is a constant stream of sexual activity between both genders) being simply “girl porn,” but there is a sense of truth to this description.

“Women physically don’t seem to differentiate between genders in their sex responses, at least heterosexual women don’t,” Chivers said. “For heterosexual women, gender didn’t matter. They responded to the level of activity.”

What does this say to females in a college culture that are open to sexual experimentation and the availability of porn?

What does this say about the onslaught of bisexual chic in the media — Callie and Erica’s burgeoning romance on Grey’s Anatomy, Britney and Madonna kissing at the MTV music awards or Lindsay and Samantha photographed smooching in Cannes, France.

More importantly, what does this say about the many difficult conversations that have been happening in the office of campus ministries with women who are confused about their sexuality?  It seems many lesbian experiences and/or relationships have a tendency to stay “in the closet.”   Is this because we are not aware of these female dimensions of sexuality?

Anyone who has spent some time working with college students knows the survey data showing that college students, in particular, are open to sexual experimentation.  Often in college circles (including Christian college circles), bisexuality is thrown “under the rug” and tends to be treated as a novelty, a titillating fluke, a phase or even at times a cover for homosexuality – but is there more to this?

The plain facts are that college students as a whole have become increasingly more sexual and display an almost schizophrenic belief system about it.  By that I mean, often in public a strong, healthy, and moral ethic is maintained; while in private, thoughts can gravitate to a view that human sexual experience is simply a commodity to pursue.  This all leads to unbiblical and wrong sexual thinking, as well as, pornographic influences that can warp young female (and male) minds.

What we, in campus ministries, need to realize is that American culture, the media, and the college environment are creating a new landscape for female students (as well as male students) regarding sexuality.  Currently, 19% (and rapidly increasing) of women (the majority in their college years) are considered addicted to porn.  This makes sense with the connection Chivers has found in her studies to female arousal.   This should be alarming and also a call to finding new ways of dealing with sexuality, especially with female students.   The face of female sexuality on campus is quietly, but quickly, changing. The question is “Are we prepared?”

• How are you addressing the changing landscape of female sexuality on your campus?
• What can we do to provide more opportunities for women to discuss their inner-feelings regarding sexuality?
• How is porn impacting the female students on your campus?

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Bob Henry is an artist, husband, father, reader, and avid coffee drinker.  He lives out these callings as the Assistant Director of Campus Ministries at Huntington University, Huntington, Indiana.  Here are few places you may find Bob: College Blog: http://www.spiritualinform.blogspot.com Personal Blog: http://www.vewfromthepew.blogspot.com Twitter: http://twitter.com/rshenry

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