The Hookup Culture & Trending Virginity on Campus

Updated 4/2/12

In late March of 2011, USA Today ran an article entitled,  More College ‘Hookups,’ but More Virgins, too.

It’s a must read for anyone who cares about college students!

The article continues to paint a picture of the already brutal reality of relational life on campus — a reality that many of us have had a ringside seat for as it has developed — with the detailed strokes provided by statistical analysis from multiple research sources.

One source reports that by the end of their senior year, more than 70% of college students  (both men and women) report having had at least 1 hookup… with the average being over 7 for women, and almost 10 for men.

Students prefer using the term “hookup” or “friends with benefits” as a way of leaving room for interpretation regarding the extent of sexual activity that was engaged in.

The article doesn’t seem to suggest whether students are for or against this relational reality; but we know that author Donna Freitas’ research — and book, Sex & the Soul — suggests that the majority of students engaged in the hookup culture do NOT prefer it… but (as the USA Today article also suggests) see it as a necessary reality for “intimacy” and/or “relationship” during the college years.

What a sad reality.

I grieve for this generation of young people who participate in this broken relational system, and even believe it to be the only option, especially given that they appear to be unaware of the mounting baggage that they will carry forward — possibly into marriage — and the challenges it will produce.

And as much as I am grieved, I believe God aches all the more.

This can’t be what God had envisioned when creating us as relational beings — in God’s own image.

But… all does not appear to be lost.

The article also pointed to a reason to have hope.

Virginity, among college students, is trending upward.

Yep.  Nearly 25% of seniors surveyed made that claim.

Why?

The article does not say.

It may be due to religious or moral convictions/values, and it may not, but the reality is that some students are choosing a different — very different — relational path for their pre-marital journey.

Similarly, in February of this year, U.S. News (on msnbc.com) reported in this article that a group of students at Yale University were taking a stand against the “sexual obsession” on their campus. Standing in sharp contrast to Sex Week (which boasts more than 50 programs), the group “Undergraduates for a Better Yale College” hosted “True Love” week, as a distinct alternative. With only a handful of programs, the group was hoping to promote love and relationships…

These are non-Christians (according to the article — no political or religious agenda) who have seen enough of the hookup culture to know how damaging it is… and are choosing a different way.

And I find myself wondering…

• How do we encourage our students who choose to wait to have sex, without condemning those who have not?
• How many of our students — yes, even the students that we have strong relationships with — feel trapped in this relational mire?
• How many of our students are waiting for us to offer them a way out — a different way forward?
• Are we able to provide a safe, loving and non-judgmental space for our students to be open and honest with us?

Setting captives free.

Isn’t that what Jesus is about?

And is it not a part of the work that God has called us to  as well?

What do you think?