The Dark Side of Leadership

When leaders fall it’s not pretty.  When Christian leaders fall it seems even worse.

The pain.  The hurt.  The confusion.  The impact.  It’s both real and significant.

The reality is that none of us are perfect.

You know that.  I know that.  But is that all there is to the story?

The short answer to that questions is NO.

As Christians we are called to be good stewards of ALL that God entrusts to us.  Whether we like it or not, we are accountable to both those we lead and the God who has called us to lead them.

This begs the question: Do you know about the dark side of leadership?

If not, I pray that you quickly become familiar with it… because it lurks beneath the surface in each of us… waiting for just the right moment to take us down, along with all that we care about.

I learned of the ‘dark side’ or ‘shadow side’ of leadership back in graduate school (although I’m certain I had experienced it before — I just never had a name for it).  It was a class on leadership that exposed me to the realities of the oft ignored under-belly of leaders that is very vulnerable if left unguarded.

Why?  Because many of the characteristics that have contributed to our success as leaders are also connected to this dark side.

The dark side, though sounding quite sinister, is actually a natural result of human development.  It is the inner urges, compulsions, and dysfunctions of our personality that often go unexamined or remain unknown to us until we experience an emotional explosion or some other significant problem that causes us to search for a reason why. (Overcoming the Dark Side of Leadership, p. 22)

If we’ve not experienced the rumblings of the dark side in our own leadership, it’s likely that we’ve seen it up-close and personal in the life of another.  As an outsider, looking in, it can seem so obvious — the train (wreck) with light flashing and whistle blowing — barreling down the tracks at the unsuspecting leader.

It’s painful to watch.  Much more painful to experience for yourself.

So is there anything we can do?  Yes, I think there is.

1. Become aware of your Dark Side – If we are unaware of our own dark side we MUST become familiar with it.  Does it take the form of being compulsion, narcissism, paranoia, co-dependency, or passive-aggressive leadership?  I highly recommend Overcoming the Dark Side of Leadership, by Gary McIntosh & Samuel Rima, as a resource for gaining familiarity with this side of yourself that lurks in the dark corners.
2. Protect against your Dark Side – If you’re anything like me, it can be more than uncomfortable to let others know that your imperfect — human.  We like to have people seek us out for help, yet we can struggle to reach out when we need it.  If we are to protect against our Dark Side we MUST invite others in.  We must be willing to shine a light into the shadows of our lives and tell others about what is there.  We must seek out accountability.  We must be willing to talk openly about our struggles.  Truthfully, we must find our way into intentional Christian community with brothers and/or sisters in Christ where we do NOT have to take the lead.  WE NEED places where we can simply belong.
3. Expose students to the Dark Side – Students need to know about this.  We don’t want to scare them, but we don’t want them to go into the year — and their role as a leader — without an awareness of what could be working against them.

I have been amazed at how my ministry with students has changed as I have led with a greater/growing awareness of my own dark side.

Sometimes ignorance is bliss… and sometimes it’s just ignorance.

As leaders… as stewards… how will we respond?  How will we equip the next generation of leaders?

I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this!