Giving Student Leaders An Out

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I’m attempting to type this blog post with my thumbs (so please excuse any typo’s — and no, I haven’t broken my hands — I’m just working from home this afternoon and I forgot my laptop in MN… So I’m attempting to capture my thoughts via my WordPress iPhone app. I still marvel at how much technology has advanced since I was in college!).

As I traveled back to TN last night (and this morning) I found myself thinking about my student leaders that will be returning to campus in less than a week. This is a group that, six months ago — or so — thought they wanted to serve their peers as a part of our ministry team. They were in a place, spiritually speaking, where they sensed God leading them to offer their talents and passions to the work God is doing on our campus.

That was six months ago.

A lot can happen over the course of six months.

As I drove, late into the night last night, I found myself wondering about how our student leaders are doing, how they might be feeling about their upcoming return, and whether or not they are still sensing that same call to be a part of our team this fall.

This will be my 14th ‘start’ to a new year as a campus ministry professional. I’ve done enough of these school year kick-offs to know NOT to try to predict how things like this are going to go.

Students summer experiences can span the spectrum from combustible to highly transformational.

Who they were when they applied to be a student leader in March, or even who they were when they left campus in May, can be totally different from who they are, right now, as they prepare to return to campus.

So how will we prepare to receive them???

  • Will there be room on our team for wounded leaders?
  • Will we create space for students to be themselves, and share where they truly find themselves, even as we attempt to pull off the best school year start yet?
  • Will we allow student leaders to walk away from our team — and their responsibilities — if they need to? Without shame? Without disgrace? Without excommunication?

My challenge to you, and to me, is to be filled with the same grace, compassion and discerning Spirit that we see exemplified in Christ Jesus!

It’s what our student leaders need from us… And I think it’s what Jesus desires from us.

What do you think?

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About the Author

Guy Chmieleski

Guy is the Founder of FaithONCampus.com. He is also the University Minister, at Belmont University, located in Nashville, TN. FaithONCampus.com is designed with campus and college ministers in mind, and is here to serve as: a resource, catalyst for conversations and encouragement for our shared work with today’s college students.

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  • http://twitter.com/danwboles Dan W. Boles

    Easy to say, hard to put into practice… but I couldn't agree more. This is my 5th “start” and all 4 of the previous years have had some element of this occur. But we're getting better at it every year. Anxious to see if any others out there have any best practices or tips they've learned over the years to address this throughout the summer and potentially prevent last minute outs.

  • http://twitter.com/JustSchneider Justin

    I hear “6 months”, and I think, “That's not long enough for someone to change.” But then I think back to where I was 6 months ago, 3 months ago, 3 weeks ago, and I have changed TREMENDOUSLY. Too often I feel like a child. It's not because I miss my G.I. Joes (I do), but rather, as soon as people are out of my sight they are frozen as they are. They don't necessarily cease existing; they are just stored away, frozen in my mind. Guy, I think you nailed this one: We have to remember others continue through life just as we have. As we desire people's grace, we need to show them the same.

    Thanks for the reminder. Also, you did pretty well with your thumbs. I'll send you my markups later.

  • guychmieleski

    Hey Dan, hey Justin!

    Thanks for sharing. It's so true – every year is different… every group of student leaders unique. While I DO think there are some things that we can do that will help to foster ongoing growth and engagement with our student leaders over the summer, I DON'T believe that our efforts can trump many of the extenuating circumstances that contribute to their struggles (but if you think I'm wrong, please push back). By staying more intentionally connected over the summer (and I've got mixed feelings about that) we may become a resource for students as troubles arise and may be able to begin walking with students in their messes long before they return to campus and feel pressured to put on their smiles and 'leadership hats.'

    Thanks guys!

  • Nathan Byrd

    We just returned from our leadership retreat. This was the first year that we did not have anyone arrive reserved and withdrawn. This year’s team is smaller than usual. I had not thought about planning for student withdrawal from leadership. However, I think it is a brilliant idea. Not sure how we can implement it, but I will be thinking it over in the next year. Planning for a way for students to pull back or back out of leadership commitments after a difficult summer or new, unforeseen challenges for this year should be a no-brainer. I have learned that when someone approaches their position with hesitancy it never works out well no matter what the reason. 

    • http://faithoncampus.com Guy Chmieleski

      Hey Nathan!

      Now I wouldn’t say that we ever flat-out ask them: “OK, are you still in or do you need to get out of this…” But we are intentional to mention that they “might not be in the same place they were 4-6 months ago and that’s ok.” We make sure that our student leaders know we are available if they want (or need) to talk about anything — and really do try to encourage them as they prepare for their upcoming leadership role.

      More than anything else, it’s probably a mind-set that we try to engender as our student leaders arrive back on campus — almost assuming that there will be someone (if not a few someones) that will be feeling the need to step away. 

      We shouldn’t ever take this personally… and It can be really easy for us to do so — even lashing out by letting them know that their choosing to leave, at this late hour, is really putting us in a pinch. 

      But I would bet that 9 out of every 10 leaders that walk away are probably going to have a pretty good reason (or need).  Our challenge will be to meet all 10 with mercy and grace… and not judgment or contempt. Much easier said than done in the midst of the chaos of the start of a new year.

    • http://faithoncampus.com Guy Chmieleski

      Hey Nathan!

      Now I wouldn’t say that we ever flat-out ask them: “OK, are you still in or do you need to get out of this…” But we are intentional to mention that they “might not be in the same place they were 4-6 months ago and that’s ok.” We make sure that our student leaders know we are available if they want (or need) to talk about anything — and really do try to encourage them as they prepare for their upcoming leadership role.

      More than anything else, it’s probably a mind-set that we try to engender as our student leaders arrive back on campus — almost assuming that there will be someone (if not a few someones) that will be feeling the need to step away. 

      We shouldn’t ever take this personally… and It can be really easy for us to do so — even lashing out by letting them know that their choosing to leave, at this late hour, is really putting us in a pinch. 

      But I would bet that 9 out of every 10 leaders that walk away are probably going to have a pretty good reason (or need).  Our challenge will be to meet all 10 with mercy and grace… and not judgment or contempt. Much easier said than done in the midst of the chaos of the start of a new year.

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