BlogathonsStudent Culture, Trends & Issues

4 Sex Lies That College Students Believe


In my 10 years of sharing with singles (primarily college students) I’ve zeroed in on four lies I think we need to overcome in order to lead our students into sexual freedom and, more importantly, their true identity in Christ.

Lie 1: My Sexuality is my Identity

If you’re my age or older you can clearly remember a time when the discussion of sexual identity seldom occurred, and not because it was thought taboo, but because it wasn’t thought of at all. (Unless you saw someone with unmistakable masculine features strolling down the street sporting flamboyant feminine attire and exhibiting effeminate mannerisms.) Even then, we didn’t put the words “sexual” and “identity” together.

Pray for our students to awaken to the truth that though their sexual urges may describe them, they do not define them. According to scripture we were made in the image of God and the God of the Bible has no gonads. Instead, Jesus tells us that God is a spiritual being (and then so are we)! If that’s primarily who we are, than our sexuality, becomes subject to who we are spiritually. In Christ we can confront and find victory over our struggles – sexual or otherwise.

Lie 2: My Sex Drive is Driven by Animal Instinct and the Pursuit of Pleasure

This is what we may have been taught in sex ed, but if this were really true our sex drive would not so easily run us off the cliff. In truth, we look to sexual experience to validate us on an incredibly intimate and profound level.

Therefore, our sexuality may not define us, but it certainly is powerful. But we give it that power, by believing lies about what sex can tell us about ourselves. Pray for our students to awaken to the truth that counters those lies, so they can defang the powerful beast of their libido.

Lie 3: There is NOTHING Bigger or Better Than Sex (besides, perhaps, God and Santa Claus)

Even in the church many doubt that the glory of heaven could compare to sex. Indeed, for many Bible-believing young people, sex is so revered, it’s the primary reason they seek marriage at all. Then sometime after the wedding day they awake to find themselves disappointed and disillusioned.

Pray for our students to awaken to the truth that they weren’t made primarily for sexual experience. They were made for something far more authentic, personal and meaningful: emotionally, spiritually deep relationships. When we discover the richness and sweetness of platonic fellowship with brothers and sisters in Christ, not only is sexual temptation easier to resist, we can walk into the life God meant for us – one defined not by sex, but by pure passion, peace and purpose.

Lie 4: I am not Affected by the Media

Where are we getting all of these distorted ideas of sex, relationships and identity, anyway? Of course, in large part it’s the media. And then our disconnected society reinforces what we see and hear.  I call it the Nud1st C0l0ny Illusion (why am I spelling the name like that?). It’s a vision of our students’ future they are being sold 24/7. It’s also a future they’ll never obtain, and worse, in subconsciously pursuing it they will miss the future they could have had.

Pray for our students to awaken to the truth of how their beliefs are powerfully impacted by the messages and images to which they expose themselves. Matthew 6:21-23 (NASB) reminds us, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. The eye is the lamp of the body; so then if your eye is clear, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light that is in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!”

Those are four lies I’m trying to confront through my work at Future Marriage University (FMU). If you’d like to explore how I might serve your campus, look me up.

And let me know what lies you are combating at your school.


Share this post, or leave a comment below, and you could win 1 of 5 copies of Celibate Sex: Musings on Being Loved, Single, Twisted, and Holy by Abbie Smith. Read more here.